Weekly Stills :: Juxtaposed

These few weeks have been trying. 

Juxtaposed. 

In the words of Ann Voskamp: Ugly Beautiful

News that my Cousin Dennis passed away this week. Which doesn't make sense to me, won't sink in. My heart hurts for his wife and son and our family. I can't fathom that I won't see him again. Wearing the overalls, teaching me how to properly season meat and BBQ. Wishing I could be with the family.

Still processing the tragic events of June 5th that stripped our comfort & safety, yet also brought an incredible closeness and faith that has warmed my heart over and over.

Seattle Espesso Cart handed out free lattes for all students, staff and faculty

Found this outside of admissions - flowers from our neighborhood Safeway

Taking time and space to lament and bear our grief, yet a joyful spirit on campus as families gathered to cheer on their college graduates.

So proud of Brie - officially a Master! 

A new position and balancing a heavy hectic workload, yet three different surprise reunions and the space to enjoy them. 

Eryn and I grew up next door to each other - so many great memories. We realized I last hugged her when I was twelve!

 Exhaustion and emotion, yet sweet surprises from a husband who cares. 

I am blessed. I am mourning. 

I am excited and utterly overwhelmed. 

I am stressed-out sick, yet by some miracle still finding energy and healing. 

"The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." ~John 1:5

There is darkness. But, stronger than that, there is also light. 

Praise be to God

Linking up with The Beetle Shack.

10 on 10 :: June 2014

These days are ... indescribable.
The aftermath of Thursday has been heartbreaking and uplifting, full of grief and normal day-to-day stuff. It's hard to reconcile. To figure out just what to do with myself. So grateful to be in the SPU community and have the space to just be and ride the waves -- knowing others get it. They feel it too.

And then there's today. A year ago today I got the voicemail of my mom's tense and teary voice "Do you want me to grab anything from your room?! There's a fire in the forest and I'm getting the hell out of here." And the ten days that followed where I couldn't unglue from the live coverage of my childhood community up in flames, burned to a crisp. And reconciling that our house was miraculously spared when 480+ were not. Prayers for the community - still healing and figuring out life after fire. Life out of ashes. My mom called and left another voice message today - again teary - describing an incredible, complete double rainbow over Black Forest. God is so faithful.

I took these yesterday as a part of 10 on 10...and like most things these days I am treading water and trying to catch up. But this practice I love so very very much and needed it. Intentional moments to pause and see the beauty in the middle of chaos and hurt and good-byes and change.

:: June 2014's ten on ten ::

My morning buddy (and alarm clock)

Celebrating our soon-to-be momma 

Sending off our dear Donna to new adventures!

(I believe I am the one in red shorts holding a torch...I love our small little office so much!!)

Homeward bound

Stuck in traffic for an hour an a half with these fabulous women. There are worse things...

Finally on the train - working on Children of the Day together

Came home to this amazing surprise from Nick! My very own baby blue Continental!! Can't wait to take this baby out!

Dessert - another sweet surprise from my hubby. 

So blessed and warmed by the continued kindness and thoughts and prayers. 

They mean so very much to all of us at SPU. 

Linking up with the talented Rebekah!

What I Know...

...I was shaking scared on Thursday afternoon.
Sitting in lockdown listening to the constant wail of sirens.
And the first Twitter post I found that oriented why our Thursday was interrupted:

And a few minutes later the second SPU ALERT email confirmation that none of us could believe:

We sat on the floor. In the dark. And we prayed. And waited.

And from the hours that have unfolded from those scary, heart-breaking, tragic moments - here's what I know...

...Going back to campus on Friday to be with students and the community was, almost, indescribable. I didn't know what to expect. My own nerves bubbled about returning to work, but once there it became so clear that our God reigns in the midst of chaos {gathered from Instragram #prayforSPU}:

...We gathered as a community and lamented

"Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkness in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away."

...And I am filled with God's word to us. One that I chose to focus on in January never dreaming of the depth it would sink in and surround me.

"Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.

Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain.

Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In every change, He faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

And I know that we are surrounded by an incredible community...

The Queen Anne community residents brought their dogs down to campus for students to play with. 

...In the middle of everything God is still calling our hearts to forgiveness and remembering.

If you feel compelled to help you can give here.

Or hold those close to you a bit tighter and send love into your community:

I know that we all agree that human flourishing is a good thing to strive for. In that light, I wish the very best to you and your loved ones and encourage you to pick one person today to shower your love on. Your love is the embodiment of good, it is the healing agent, it is the antidote to fear and suffering. It is the only transformative force in the universe. Not as an emotional “high” but as a stance toward being that unifies heart and mind. --Stamatis Vokos, SPU Physics Professor, full post here.

Or send up a prayer, a letter? a post? for the hurting family that is now walking a strange path as their son faces the reality of what he has done. The hurt he has inflicted. I imagine it looks like a dark, narrow and lonely path for all of them. What if we extended God's love into those dark places too? 

O God, we pray for the one who 

perpertrated this midless act of violence.

Deal with his troubled soul,

love him in spite of his hatred,

and bring him not only to justice

but to repentance and spiritual wholeness.

~part of the liturgy read at SPU's prayer vigil

And thank you. Your thoughts, texts, emails, prayers, phone calls have meant so much. 

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord

Wait upon the Lord

Wait upon the Lord