I'm so used to the rhythm of school - coming home with weeks to spare - plenty of time to shop for gifts and prepare for Christmas day! But this year - I am working! Working until almost Christmas Eve and when I finally get home it will be Christmas!
Therefore, I am behind and probably won't get ahead this season. I'm trying to just accept that and find any sort of peace, but I feel pressure to have it all together and present each person with the perfect gift. The gifts that I did buy are still sitting on my bedroom floor...not mailed. New Year gifts, anyone??
Things have slipped through the cracks which I find terribly ironic. My life calms down and I shed the stress and fast pace of school and end up getting less done than when I was running full speed ahead! How does this happen?
It's nice to relax and come home to lounge, but I'm afraid it's becoming a bad habit. I'm becoming too accustomed to having a clear schedule and nothing to do because when there are things that could be done I forget all about them.
Things will be different this year and the years following. There's an uncertain anxiety about the changes of rhythm and perhaps being so out of sync this year is just what is needed to forge a new tradition, a new way.
However, something I have accomplished this season is really being present in Advent. Reading reflections that continually challenge and broaden the depth of my understanding of my Savior's birth, of what it means to wait, anticipate, look anxiously to heaven. Our office walked alongside my boss as she waited for a new grand-baby to arrive...each day we'd eagerly wait for news...wait for this child to be born. Brings new meaning to the anticipation felt ~2,000 years ago and our anticipation now as we again wait for Christ and His return.
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