Colorado: "The Construction State"

Construction turns even the best of drivers into raging, horn-blowing lunatics. Of that fact I am sure. I know my blood pressure rises and my patience and tolerance completely evaporate.
I just wanted to get to Union. So I mistakenly thought I should take Woodmen (now is it Woodman or Woodmen?? I've been here 20 years and I don't know. That's probably part of the problem...) Anyways. I'm following the train of cars through the maze of orange and white barrels and trucks and the stifling asphalt smell when the construction worker a few cars ahead holding the "slow" or "stop" sign keeps switching. Like he's bored and thinks the cure to his boredom is to twirl the big pole that happens to be attached to his hand. Or maybe, since he is bored, he does this on purpose thinking an accident in an already crowded construction zone might add some spice to his day. Either way the confused cars in front of me decided the twirling sign meant "slow." So on we proceeded.

I survived the construction zone and am a few cars back sitting at the red left turn arrow trying to turn onto Union. And we sit there. And I sing along to Carrie Underwood, then I sing along to Blake Shelton, and then I sing along to Diamond Rio and half way through Diamond Rio I'm thinking...hmmm each song is probably 2 to 3 minutes. Have we really been sitting at this red light for that long? The agitated cars in front of me had had enough of being skipped in the light cycles so they began to turn left on the red arrow and now it is my turn. The car behind me is about ready to drive over me if I don't hurry up and turn left on red. A big flashing neon sign screaming "moral dilemma" is blinking in my mind. I know just as soon as I turn it will be the one millisecond a cop arrives and guess who will get a ticket...me. So instead I dove into the empty right lane, went straight through green, flipped a u-turn and finally turned right onto Union. My goodness who knew driving in this town was such an operation. I think I'm just going to stay in the driveway from now on.