The Wishing Well

It's the first of December.
How on earth did I get here?
My sophomore year of college with Fall Quarter a few finals away from being over?
And, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.

December 1, 2007.
December brings such a mixed time for me. I love Christmas(time) but it's always been hard for me. My favorite is always the week before Christmas. When the level of elation is about to burst. All the church traditional services, Christmas cards, Christmas music, wrapping presents. Instead of my usual "countdown to Christmas" I'm trying to really search and find what the Advent Season really means, I'll leave my counting-down for New Years.

I can't even begin to start understanding everything I've learned this Quarter about God. Except that yet again I am so far below the mark in being Christian and realizing how SO many others are as well and don't even realize it. Or try to. Being a Christian is no longer the simple "I believe in God and Jesus as my savior, I'm saved." In fact, for a while this quarter I even forgot about that line. Because for the first time everything was making sense. What I do, how I shape others, how I give, how I pray, whom I love are all things that needed a make-over. Most of all how I trust God. Which I still don't know how to do, I just have increased knowledge of how others trusted Him in the Bible. That counts for something doesn't it?

And in a time of finals, papers, projects, stress my mind is occupied. Bekah and I asked the question last night of, "Why right now? Why?" I need to focus, and instead every inch of thought floats up into the clouds in daydreams until I jerk it back to the textbook. I can't fall asleep at night because I'm too busy laying there with a ridiculous smile plastered on my face daydreaming. I am convinced that love/infatuation is a sickness. And one I can't, and don't want to overcome. It's most fun I think because I don't really have complete control over these feelings. It's always the most unexpected person. But I am tripping over myself with giggly stupor. Even though he has no idea, even though he's two years younger, even though he's a sibling of a dear friend...even though...I just can't help myself.
For example, I attended his high school football championship game last night! (Which was AMAZING, by the way, and they WON...lil Almira-Hartline-Coulee State Champions!)
I had dinner with his family (whom I absolutely adore).
I snuck pictures.
Oh goodness someone get my head out of the clouds...I HAVE FINALS.

On a completely unrelated note,
I haven't learned this exactly, but I've observed it a little bit.
God doesn't always work in the way you think He's working.
What do I mean by this?
It is so easy to read our own agenda, our own wanted responses into the happenings of our life. It is also easy to say that God "did that for such-an-such reason" which happens to fit perfectly into our plan. Not saying that this doesn't ever happen, but while someone is saying all that an outside perspective may see something more accurate. I believe this is why a community of faith is SO vital. We are supposed to be there to keep each other in check. Keep each other in tune with God and his purposes, callings, (and we just had a random power surge...lost all train of thought...) Oh yes, Fellowship is essential so we can take care of ourselves and get back in focus what God is actively doing. It isn't enough to have a fellowship of Christians around, you have to actually listen to what they say. Not search for the one person with the answer you were looking for. The truth sucks sometimes. But it's SO necessary for self-preservation and strengthening your relationship with God. So the next time you ask for advice from many, don't glaze over the things said because they conflict with what you think.
The truth often offends our own ideas.

2 Corinthians 4:17
"For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight in glory beyond all measure."

What a powerful verse. A slight momentary affliction. Even though at the time it may seem like a mountain unobtainable. It's a slight momentary affliction.