'A (wo)man of action"

In my Four Gospels, One Jesus course, an excerpt from Soren Kierkegaard from Self-Examination / Judge for Yourself (1851, Denmark) caught my attention and ties into reading Psalm 15 yesterday:

"...Yes, alone with God's Word! My listener, allow me to make a confession about myself here. I still do not dare to be utterly alone with God's Word. I don't have the honesty and courage for it. I dare not! If I open it - any passage - it traps me at once. It asks me - indeed, it is as if it were God himself who does the asking - "Have you done what you read there?" And then I am trapped. Then either right into action or immediately a humbling confession. Oh, to be alone with Scripture; yet if you are not, then you are not truly reading..."

"...It is only all too easy to understand the requirements contained in God's Word ("Give all your goods to the poor." "If anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the left." "If anyone takes your coat, let him have your cloak also." "Rejoice always." "Count it sheer joy when you meet various temptations" etc.). The most ignorant, poor creature cannot honestly deny being able to understand God's requirements. But it is tough on the flesh to will to understand it and to then act accordingly. Herein lies the problem. It is not a question of interpretation, but action."

Oh the problem of action.
And I am usually coming with a bagful of 'humbling confessions' yet the action lingers and I avoid eye contact.

Today's Non-Complaint: it's so lovely when problems are easily solved.

The Sharp Edge of Truth

People are starting to trickle back on campus...classes officially start tomorrow!
So the last quarter begins - last quarter before I am an alumni...of college! That's weird.

I saw this verse on my friend Chris' blog and found it beautiful, convicting and the perfect words for where I'm at today:

Psalm 15
"LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken."

Chris reflected on these words and used the imagery of a phoenix:

"God, be merciful to me, the sinner!
make me like the phoenix and
rebirth me from the ashes of my own ruin [death]"

His eloquent and vivid words reminded me of my own desperate need of the grace of God, to surrender my stubborn control and accept his peace, as Paul did, and learn to be content in all circumstances.

Wow. That's so much easier said than done. Psalm 15 sets the bar high and I shamefully duck underneath because, guess what, integrity is painful. Verse 4: 'who keeps his oath, even when it hurts.' No excuses. No minimalistic scraping by. No claim of ignorance. We are called by God to do the impossible, and we can only do that by surrendering everything to God and watch Christ work through us.

Still desperately learning how to be content. So, instead of complaining about what I'm deeply NOT content about (which is easy), here is something I'm thankful for today: I got to catch up with my staff this afternoon over some delicious Elliot Bay Subs - everyone was glowing with Spring Break euphoria and the room rang with laughter at being together again. Moments I'll treasure.

Change of thought - so simple right?

I was reminded of this verse yesterday:

Philippians 4:6-8
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

I've found it much to easy to complain and think about the negative lately. And this verse reminds us that complaining and commiserating is simply because I'm not content with what God's given me and I am worrying about everything I can't control. Things will be what they will be, I must give them over to God and learn to be happy with what God provides each today.

What's been occupying my thoughts: the impending doom I feel of Spring Quarter starting in a few short days and still no motivation found...

Instead: Focus on the BLESSING it is to attend SPU and that I am one quarter away from completing a bachelors degree. Many do not have this opportunity.
And...
this blog, because kitties just make me smile! :)

Happy Green!

Happy St. Patrick's Day! :)

I love this holiday simply because it gives me the excuse to embrace my favorite color...green!

A few of my favorite green things...

I used to have a turtle named Max, and then he ran away.

Oh how I want to crochet a lovely green shawl!

Leaves! Earthy Prints! Nature....mmmm

Green tea! In a lovely green&white polka dotted cup!

Are we there yet??

I sit here in utter exhaustion. But with not an extensive amount of reasons for why I should be.

Finals are upon us and you can tell everyone is just itching to shed these heavy burdens and skip towards spring! Spring Break! The sun! A new Quarter! (Well...maybe not 'skipping' toward that last one), but still: a sense of newness will refresh.

I really need to be preparing, studying, writing that last paper, cramming some more and hoping it coherently falls onto my blue book tomorrow. But as I attempt to pry winter quarter's icy fingers from my arm I get simple, yet life-giving, blasts of fresh air in the meantime:

*friends willing to listen to late-night anxieties

*friends putting off 10 page papers to indulge in some Wii Rockband with me

*a ridiculously understanding boyfriend who is willing to sit and color with me when I've all but lost my marbles and patience with life

*prayers that remind me of what a blessing it is to be able to study and learn - and that I really do love it (however, I will never admit that I love finals...)

*and said boyfriend...coming over this morning to make me breakfast so I could focus better on my studies with Smarties because I'm smart and can make it, and vitamin water to help sustain me through the rest of finals week...I was almost teary-eyed.

Love. Love is bigger than my groanings and moanings about finals and it's nice to be reminded of that every once in a while.