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Everyday on my walk to and from campus from my apartment there is a bag of some sort of wet, black, chunky nastiness caught in a tree perilously swaying from side to side. I have a great fear that it is going to land on my head. It occupies my thoughts each and every day as I quickly walk under it. It's hard to walk around it unless I purposely crossed the street where there are no trees with disgusting unknown concoctions hanging from their limbs threatening my dignity. By that's altogether out of my way.

I saw at Fred Meyer yesterday that the 20 fl oz Cokes all have white caps. Paranoid as I am, I began to wonder if that means no more coke rewards...I just got going!! I've been diligent in my search for those little red caps with codes and those cardboard cutouts. What will I occupy my time and energy towards if cokerewards are gone?? Maybe now I can give up soda for lent....

For Bible study this week I had to read the story of Esau and Jacob which I had never read before. And it disturbed me and confused me all the more about the divine providence stuff. I'm not sure I can find God's providence in this story - I don't believe God wanted or steered Jacob to make Esau sell his birthright and then trick his father into giving him the blessing instead of Esau - then runs away after that! Another thing that irks me about that story: Isaac says he already blessed Jacob, it was too late. Why couldn't he bless Esau? Is there some rule in OT times where you only got ONE blessing you could give, and I'm pretty sure it's not Isaac doing the blessing either - it's ultimately God's decision. So after this passage I would like to know what God says. What was His reaction, thoughts, anythings, about this? I'm so frustrated, and I know I'm going to go to class tonight and Dr. Spina's just going to ask us more questions and I'm going to be more confused than ever. I wish there was the Bible and then maybe....a book of answers. Like in literature when the author talks about why they wrote the story and what it really means. Where's that part of the Bible?

I watched my favorite Friends episode the other night, The One Where They Stay Up All Night...makes me laugh every single time:
"Phoebe Bouffet."
"....fire alarm??"

Cooking woes

Why did high school stop offering home ec classes?
Just saying that it would have been very beneficial to know some of these things.
Namely, cooking. I don't know what the heck I'm doing half the time and have made some pretty atrocious meals which I still eat just because of the fact that I want my money's worth of all the groceries I just wasted. There is an endless cycle of pasta - tacos - pizza because those are about the only things I know how to make.
Any tips? Any favorite recipes? I'll take 'em. :)

I've been thinking a lot about Lent, which is creeping around the corner. Thinking of what I should "give up" but I read an article from the UCC about it that was really interesting.
"So Lent is a time of “turning.” The season gives us an opportunity to turn our lives
around. We let go of practices and habits that separate us from God and distort our
relationship with others. We open our minds and hearts to God’s love. We listen to God’s
word. We ask God to show us what is really important. We turn toward God."

It's January 29 already. I look back on what all I've accomplished and wonder how on earth I did it all. Essays, assignments, exams, applications - yuck. I hate that this part of my life is all about that stuff. I envy those non-students I pass on the street that can go home and not have to worry about homework, assignments, etc. (I know adults have their own work issues and deadlines, but don't ruin my fantasy...I need something to look forward to!) At the same time though, I love being here. I love the academic community. If only we could scratch the whole grading/assignment thing, and the whole $35,000 a year. I wouldn't mind never leaving.

I'm a snowflake!

I woke up to snow this morning - that was exciting.
What cracks me up is it all disappears in a few hours, yet there are still mounds and mounds of de-icing salt all over the side walks. Giving the effect of snow...until you step on it and feel the awkward crunch.
I'm hoping for more snow.

Two midterms down today. Turned in my PA application.
I hate tests. And two in one day is brutal.

I was reading Utopia and had to laugh at the passage: "Some dullards dread satire as a man bitten by a hydrophobic dog dreads water." Ha. What?!

Senate was cancelled tonight due to the weather but we had a game night instead, a great game of Apples to Apples. The best of the night being Insulting: Crystal Balls thanks to Bekah.

singing along to our favorite song

Mondays aren't that bad when they aren't actual "back to the grind" Mondays.
I was able to accomplish everything I needed to for this week.
The weekends are just an opportunity for me to catch up to all the things I have to do during the week because somehow the time during the week is gone. I don't have time during the week.
There's too much to do, too much I have to do - I'd really like to schedule in a nap mid-day. That would be great.

I am convinced that gymnasts are a different breed of Homosapians. Bekah and I watched practice today to cheer on Brie and gymnastics is entirely too brutal, yet so fascinating. The defying of gravity and strength and endurance captivates my attention. It's the favorite of the Olympics (in my opinion) but I never before realized just what it takes. Everything looks so easy. Well, for the record, it is not. Easy is not in gymnastic vocabulary.

Moments I live for:
- Bekah, Brie, Christie and I all stop at Josh's closed door (where an obvious party is happening due to music and chatting inside) and we all lean in to read a note posted on his door when all of a sudden the door opens! We all jump and dash in all directions then giggle profusely. A well thought-out, subtle plan. And of all people that emerge it's Heidi. Oy vey do we look suspicious. Oh well, we aren't really a group of grace or subtlety. People should know that by now. :)

-Bekah and I scared at Sally's house from the bathroom and Bekah pulling back the curtain and screaming because there are large boxes and tubes. Not really something we expected. Funny none-the-less.

-Brie's inspirational speech ending in "and he's mature enough to handle a relationship outside the gym....wait...."

BRRRRRRR it is so cold here.

When it comes down to it. There are just not enough hours in the day.
I know I am not the first to reach this epiphany so I will join the long line of overachievers, multi-taskers and raving lunatics from lack of sleep and long lists to accomplish. I'm near that point myself.

It is also unfortunate (sort of) that I want to do so much. Or that so much opportunity is given! Don't get me wrong I know how incredibly blessed I am but in turn I want to do everything and that is just not possible. The hours just zip by. Yet when I'm in class I'm pretty sure the clocks stop.

I got to use my rainboots yesterday. It was fabulous and I stayed dry! Then it hailed, and snowed. Which rainboots have no use for.

I am struggling with this application and if I even want the job. The list of pros and cons are fairly even and significant. It's giving me a stomach ache. Is that a sign? Is this what I'm supposed to do? I wish someone would just tell me ahead of time and I don't have to find out "through the process" because its a long and involved process that I already don't have time for.
I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. The reasons I don't want it are selfish. The leading reason I want it is selfish. I'm so incredibly frustrated, I just wish I knew what I wanted and I wished it had the potential to work out better than it is.

I don't know.
I do know I have mounds of homework I should be doing.

Baby giraffes

Animal biology is proving to be quite entertaining.
Professor Bishop is great - first day of class she pulled a young python out of her jacket pocket!

Today, I learned how baby giraffes are born.
The mom gives birth standing up so the first introduction to this world the baby has is a good 10 foot fall to the hard ground. The baby then turns over and curls its feet under it to catch its new found breath and greet the bright world. The mother stands over the baby and a few seconds later....WHACK the mother kicks the baby and it goes sprawling head over hoofs. A stunned zoo employee watching this event asked the zookeeper what on earth she did that for. He simply answered: "She wants him to stand up." The mother continues to kick the baby until its stands wobbly - but standing none-the-less. The zoo employees cheer and then WHACK the mother kicks it back down. Again, the stunned zoo employee asked the zookeeper. "Why on earth did she do that? The baby was standing!" The zookeeper replied, "She wants him to remember how he got up." In the wild, predators would gladly snag a baby giraffe for a meal so it is the job of the mother to teach it to stand as quickly as possible and remember how to do it so as to survive. That amazes me.
Prof. Bishop talked about how it seems that you've just stood up from a challenging trial when your knocked down again. Remember that God loves us and is teaching us to stand, and remember how we climbed up the last time so we can do it again.
Still.
Poor baby giraffes.

Well I am behind on homework. So this is short.

P.S. in one of my classes I watched the guy sitting next to me eat nearly a whole tin of Altoids in a matter of an hour or so. He ate them like candy! I can't even handle a half of one.

Monday Monday

It is freezing here. It's not raining and when it doesn't rain the temperature usually drops significantly. So my choices are either somewhat clear skies and dry ground in bone-chilling cold or somewhat bearable temperature soaking wet.
I think I'll stay inside.

Outside my bedroom window is an orange house. A man lives there alone and I'm not sure why but this house really intrigues me. There are many interesting items out in front. Several buckets placed randomly around collecting water. A pink cooler and an old and rotting couch thing. There are two vans in the yard packed full of stuff. Both vans have large trees stripped of their branches in them.
The screen door is missing its screen and hangs somewhat diagonally so it never actually closes. There are piles of things pressed up to the windows except for one which always has the blinds closed.

I think of that Oprah episode where they intervened and helped this woman unbury her home from her compulsive hoarding habit. Though, I'm not sure that's what this house holds. It's odd, somewhat creepy and incredibly interesting. I wish I knew the stories behind those vans, the large moving truck that's started growing moss and algae.

On another less stalker-like note,
classes have started. I'm bored already. Soon I will just be swamped.
In the meantime I found these lines particularly beautiful yet melancholy from poems we looked at in English this morning:
"The wise warrior must consider how ghostly it will be when all the wealth of this world stands waste...Here wealth is fleeting, here friend is fleeting, here man is fleeting, here woman is fleeting--all this earthly habitation shall be emptied." --The Wanderer
"It was long ago--I remember it still--that I was hewn down at the wood's edge, taken from my stump. Strong foes seized me there, hewed me to the shape they wished to see, commanded me to lift their criminals. Men carried me on their shoulders, then set me on a hill; foes enough fastened me there. Then I saw the Lord of mankind hasten with stout heart, for he would climb upon me." --The Dream of the Rood
We talked about how much our culture determines our interpretation of Jesus. The Anglo-Saxons saw him as an epic hero. "Strong and stouthearted."
Our culture interprets him as the peace bringer. Because is that not what our culture seeks? We love comfort, peace and well-being. The Anglo-Saxons loved battle, heroic deeds, courage and "stoutheartedness."
Something to think about. I like both.

Goodbyes are the worst.

This is always the hardest part.
I hate leaving.
It's okay once I get where I'm going and get back into the routine.
But the leaving part takes all the strength I have.
Not that the airport makes it any less painful. I usually follow my routine of overweight-overstuffed suitcases and too many carry-ons.
It's just hard to pack for a month.

My break was so wonderful. I saw more family and friends than I have any other break.
It was nice to catch up with long-lost friends, spend time with those who always have my heart and family from near and far.

So begins 2008.