Once again I was abundantly blessed this Christmas.
I woke up to two rambunctious kittens tromping around on my face letting me know that it was time for breakfast. After I fed them I watched Good Morning America and entertained Boo and Max until it was time to head home.
It was nice to have Uncle Bill here, I'm so used to just us three. It was nice to have some extra family (even if it was only one more person).
I have managed to watch
+Little Miss Sunshine (which I am in love with)
+Robots (which actually surpassed my expectations)
+Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix (Finally, my Christmas break is complete. I'm tempted to watch it again, right now)
+end of Pirates of the Caribbean I (Sometimes I just want to be a pirate)
Dropped mom and uncle Bill off at the airport...they are on an adventure for sure. Who would have thought that John Wayne closes at 11:00pm. Those pampered Californians. So it is L.A. for them at who knows what terrible hour.
And once again, it was a white Christmas. It snowed all day, beautiful white fluffy flakes.
We have about 4 inches of fluffy crystal snow.
Christmas always zooms by. The season of waiting, and anticipation and I feel like Christmas should last at least a week to understand the full meaning. The full joy and celebration. I suppose that should be celebrated like that the rest of the year. Until the next advent season (which sneaks up faster than I thought). I swear we just celebrated 2007.
Time flying by so fast makes me nervous.
Am I ready for 2008?
What am I going to do?
Well, in reality, what did I do in 2007? Worth some reflection.
Merry Christmas!!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Stars
It's so beautiful out tonight.
On my way to Heidi's I "followed the big bright star" that is always lit on the side of the mountains in Palmer Lake. It always fascinates me how they do it.
On my way home I saw a shooting star. It was big and bright and fell right out of the sky. It gave me goosebumps. I haven't seen a falling star in a long time.
Mostly because you can't see any stars in Seattle.
The moon was so bright, I could see everything so clearly. As if a large spotlight illuminated where I was. Even through the fog of the forest the moon broke through.
It's breathtaking.
It's moments like these I love the crispness of the midnight air.
The quietness.
Because all of nature is gazing at the beauty.
It's times like these that I feel I walked into a painting by the one and only Artist that could create a scene so serene and mysterious.
I love Colorado.
On my way to Heidi's I "followed the big bright star" that is always lit on the side of the mountains in Palmer Lake. It always fascinates me how they do it.
On my way home I saw a shooting star. It was big and bright and fell right out of the sky. It gave me goosebumps. I haven't seen a falling star in a long time.
Mostly because you can't see any stars in Seattle.
The moon was so bright, I could see everything so clearly. As if a large spotlight illuminated where I was. Even through the fog of the forest the moon broke through.
It's breathtaking.
It's moments like these I love the crispness of the midnight air.
The quietness.
Because all of nature is gazing at the beauty.
It's times like these that I feel I walked into a painting by the one and only Artist that could create a scene so serene and mysterious.
I love Colorado.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
O Holy Night
I really hate holiday shopping.
I love how everything is decorated, and the endless Christmas music.
But, Christmas shopping is different than shopping any other time of the year. I don't like the feeling of stress that you have to get a gift, a good, thoughtful, meaningful gift. And once you've labored and bit your lip and searched every store with the days running out you must face the lines that start from the parking lot.
I love to give people gifts. I love them more when I see them throughout the year, or come by one that fits someone in my life so perfectly. Therefore, I find Christmas shopping so incredibly laborious because I feel forced. Then I feel redundant, and then my Christmas spirit drains like the spilt coffee in the overcrowded food court. I forget Christmas. I forget the reason.
It happens every year. I'm not really sure how to amend it.
I would say it is my New Years resolution to start Christmas shopping in January so I am prepared (along with my wallet). But that just feeds into the popularity of Christmas and it starting too soon.
So. I will brave the malls and shops and lines.
Because you're worth it.
So know that any gift you receive from me always has a meaning behind it. There was an "ah-ha" moment where I knew that was the gift I had been looking for.
On another note.
I sing this song every year, and write it off as another Christmas classic.
I think of Home Alone, and how Julie always sang it Christmas Eve.
But this Christmas-time I've actually just begun to listen to it.
Look at these beautiful and convicting lyrics:
O Holy Night!
The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine! O night,
O Holy Night , O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King!
Before him lowly bend! Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord!
Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
This song is a sigh of relief. Finally rest and comfort has come to those so weary of heart.
Fall.on.your.knees.
Take that most vulnerable position and thank God for His blessing.
Thank God for his Son.
I love how everything is decorated, and the endless Christmas music.
But, Christmas shopping is different than shopping any other time of the year. I don't like the feeling of stress that you have to get a gift, a good, thoughtful, meaningful gift. And once you've labored and bit your lip and searched every store with the days running out you must face the lines that start from the parking lot.
I love to give people gifts. I love them more when I see them throughout the year, or come by one that fits someone in my life so perfectly. Therefore, I find Christmas shopping so incredibly laborious because I feel forced. Then I feel redundant, and then my Christmas spirit drains like the spilt coffee in the overcrowded food court. I forget Christmas. I forget the reason.
It happens every year. I'm not really sure how to amend it.
I would say it is my New Years resolution to start Christmas shopping in January so I am prepared (along with my wallet). But that just feeds into the popularity of Christmas and it starting too soon.
So. I will brave the malls and shops and lines.
Because you're worth it.
So know that any gift you receive from me always has a meaning behind it. There was an "ah-ha" moment where I knew that was the gift I had been looking for.
On another note.
I sing this song every year, and write it off as another Christmas classic.
I think of Home Alone, and how Julie always sang it Christmas Eve.
But this Christmas-time I've actually just begun to listen to it.
Look at these beautiful and convicting lyrics:
O Holy Night!
The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees!
Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine! O night,
O Holy Night , O night divine!
Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King!
Before him lowly bend! Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord!
Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
This song is a sigh of relief. Finally rest and comfort has come to those so weary of heart.
Fall.on.your.knees.
Take that most vulnerable position and thank God for His blessing.
Thank God for his Son.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Red and yellow...umm I don't think this is the right song!
I've been thinking lately about laziness.
Because I feel like I am a very lazy person, especially during breaks.
After reading a friends post I wonder if I really am lazy or if I compare myself too much to the outrageous busy lives of my generation. I still accomplish the things I need to.
But I love time to myself, I could read all day in isolation and be fine.
I like doing things by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love to do things with friends and family but I am not the type to go out every night, hang out every day all day, go on crazy adventures all the time. I am a "let's talk and just enjoy each other by the fire with a cup of tea" person. But I am surrounded by those adventurist that always need to be doing something crazy - active - somewhere other than home. Thank goodness for those people because if it wasn't for them I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever leave the couch. However, it takes some persuasion to get me to go. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I like that about me or if I should try and dig deep and find the up-late adventurer.
Since all I seem to watch these days are reality shows (and they are about the only shows not affected by the writers strike) I have realized some things about myself:
a) I don't ever want to be a model. Nor would I do well on America's Next Top Model. This is because after watching the challenges and competition I always sympathize with the girls having a major crisis, crying because they are lost and late, or feeling stepped on by the other girls. I would be that character so not going to sign up for public humiliation on TV.
b) I would not last on Survivor or Amazing Race. I buckle under pressure. At the first immunity challenge or elimination round I would end up with a guilt-trip and ulcer. I need to do things at my pace, and when there's cut-throat competition I freeze. And I am a sissy. Let's just face the facts, I would not be able to handle the monster bugs out in the jungle.
So what have I learned about myself lately?
-I am reserved and show my adventurous side with few people and intermittently.
-I am not competitive but prefer to sit on the sidelines and cheer
-I would not make a good reality TV candidate.
-I seem to be way too deep in my comfort zone...
Who says watching TV is bad for you?
And I'm really trying hard not to let my stolen coat get to me. It's semi-working.
God's continually reminded me these past two days that I value my friends, family, and faith more than this coat. (Even though I really really liked the coat) the world will not stop turning because it is no longer mine.
I need to pray for an attitude of forgiveness and just let it go. God has better things for me. I just need to remember that.
I just hate the feeling of being stolen from. It's personal. It's invasive.
So please, don't steal things. If you need something that bad...just ask! You'd be surprised how many are willing to help provide.
Because I feel like I am a very lazy person, especially during breaks.
After reading a friends post I wonder if I really am lazy or if I compare myself too much to the outrageous busy lives of my generation. I still accomplish the things I need to.
But I love time to myself, I could read all day in isolation and be fine.
I like doing things by myself. Don't get me wrong, I love to do things with friends and family but I am not the type to go out every night, hang out every day all day, go on crazy adventures all the time. I am a "let's talk and just enjoy each other by the fire with a cup of tea" person. But I am surrounded by those adventurist that always need to be doing something crazy - active - somewhere other than home. Thank goodness for those people because if it wasn't for them I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever leave the couch. However, it takes some persuasion to get me to go. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know if I like that about me or if I should try and dig deep and find the up-late adventurer.
Since all I seem to watch these days are reality shows (and they are about the only shows not affected by the writers strike) I have realized some things about myself:
a) I don't ever want to be a model. Nor would I do well on America's Next Top Model. This is because after watching the challenges and competition I always sympathize with the girls having a major crisis, crying because they are lost and late, or feeling stepped on by the other girls. I would be that character so not going to sign up for public humiliation on TV.
b) I would not last on Survivor or Amazing Race. I buckle under pressure. At the first immunity challenge or elimination round I would end up with a guilt-trip and ulcer. I need to do things at my pace, and when there's cut-throat competition I freeze. And I am a sissy. Let's just face the facts, I would not be able to handle the monster bugs out in the jungle.
So what have I learned about myself lately?
-I am reserved and show my adventurous side with few people and intermittently.
-I am not competitive but prefer to sit on the sidelines and cheer
-I would not make a good reality TV candidate.
-I seem to be way too deep in my comfort zone...
Who says watching TV is bad for you?
And I'm really trying hard not to let my stolen coat get to me. It's semi-working.
God's continually reminded me these past two days that I value my friends, family, and faith more than this coat. (Even though I really really liked the coat) the world will not stop turning because it is no longer mine.
I need to pray for an attitude of forgiveness and just let it go. God has better things for me. I just need to remember that.
I just hate the feeling of being stolen from. It's personal. It's invasive.
So please, don't steal things. If you need something that bad...just ask! You'd be surprised how many are willing to help provide.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
You're In...
Home.
It's different than I left it but it always is.
This time I find changes in landscape (where are all of these houses coming from?) and in how I feel. No nervousness about getting my teeth ripped out, and no gigantic snow storm (yet).
I was actually excited when it snowed and I enjoyed tromping around in it.
So far I have watched entirely too much TV (and love it)
Read three months worth of magazines (my gossip fix)
Saw the Golden Compass with Therese (both of which I'm obessed with)
Snuggled with my kitty (and forgot what it was like to have cat hair EVERYWHERE)
What I would like to do before heading back:
Read! Read! Read! (the stuff I want to! And then NOT write an essay on it)
Knit! Crochet! Knit! (I'm trying to figure out how to make slippers)
Have as many [catch-up] conversations with friends and family as possible! (I'm obessed with coffee dates)
It's different than I left it but it always is.
This time I find changes in landscape (where are all of these houses coming from?) and in how I feel. No nervousness about getting my teeth ripped out, and no gigantic snow storm (yet).
I was actually excited when it snowed and I enjoyed tromping around in it.
So far I have watched entirely too much TV (and love it)
Read three months worth of magazines (my gossip fix)
Saw the Golden Compass with Therese (both of which I'm obessed with)
Snuggled with my kitty (and forgot what it was like to have cat hair EVERYWHERE)
What I would like to do before heading back:
Read! Read! Read! (the stuff I want to! And then NOT write an essay on it)
Knit! Crochet! Knit! (I'm trying to figure out how to make slippers)
Have as many [catch-up] conversations with friends and family as possible! (I'm obessed with coffee dates)
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I'll be home for Christmas....
I took both my written finals today and turned in my papers for the Community Bible Study.
I think I am actually mourning the loss of those classes! I don't want those classes to end. After I left and turned in my final there was no overwhelming sense of relief, or joy, but sorrow! I loved the professors, I loved the content, I loved the people.
Go figure the class I've been counting down the days for I have to write a substantial paper by Friday.
Life is like that.
Life also gets complicated way too easy.
Not only is it finals week.
Not only is it "everyone get together/Christmas parties galore before break"
Not only is it crap I need to go Christmas shopping.
There has to be the element of the scratchy throat.
I did so well all quarter.
Oh well. I'm about to return back to the mountain, fresh, clean air. That should help heal me. It always does. Plus its a good excuse to stay warm and bundled inside. With a good book (or twelve).
That's another thing, I'm not ready to go home...
I am. I miss my family, and my kitty. But, I don't want to go yet.
I suppose it helps that everyone else is going home too, but this quarter's been so much fun.
And as always, I will hate leaving home.
It's such a pull. Each state tugs at my heart, the people in those states tug at my heart.
And I am literally torn-in-half.
Well, enjoy Seattle (and the tsunami...) while I can
enjoy Colorado (and its snow) while I can.
Somehow manage to make it through 12:30 pm Friday.
I think I am actually mourning the loss of those classes! I don't want those classes to end. After I left and turned in my final there was no overwhelming sense of relief, or joy, but sorrow! I loved the professors, I loved the content, I loved the people.
Go figure the class I've been counting down the days for I have to write a substantial paper by Friday.
Life is like that.
Life also gets complicated way too easy.
Not only is it finals week.
Not only is it "everyone get together/Christmas parties galore before break"
Not only is it crap I need to go Christmas shopping.
There has to be the element of the scratchy throat.
I did so well all quarter.
Oh well. I'm about to return back to the mountain, fresh, clean air. That should help heal me. It always does. Plus its a good excuse to stay warm and bundled inside. With a good book (or twelve).
That's another thing, I'm not ready to go home...
I am. I miss my family, and my kitty. But, I don't want to go yet.
I suppose it helps that everyone else is going home too, but this quarter's been so much fun.
And as always, I will hate leaving home.
It's such a pull. Each state tugs at my heart, the people in those states tug at my heart.
And I am literally torn-in-half.
Well, enjoy Seattle (and the tsunami...) while I can
enjoy Colorado (and its snow) while I can.
Somehow manage to make it through 12:30 pm Friday.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
It's the first of December.
How on earth did I get here?
My sophomore year of college with Fall Quarter a few finals away from being over?
And, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.
December 1, 2007.
December brings such a mixed time for me. I love Christmas(time) but it's always been hard for me. My favorite is always the week before Christmas. When the level of elation is about to burst. All the church traditional services, Christmas cards, Christmas music, wrapping presents. Instead of my usual "countdown to Christmas" I'm trying to really search and find what the Advent Season really means, I'll leave my counting-down for New Years.
I can't even begin to start understanding everything I've learned this Quarter about God. Except that yet again I am so far below the mark in being Christian and realizing how SO many others are as well and don't even realize it. Or try to. Being a Christian is no longer the simple "I believe in God and Jesus as my savior, I'm saved." In fact, for a while this quarter I even forgot about that line. Because for the first time everything was making sense. What I do, how I shape others, how I give, how I pray, whom I love are all things that needed a make-over. Most of all how I trust God. Which I still don't know how to do, I just have increased knowledge of how others trusted Him in the Bible. That counts for something doesn't it?
And in a time of finals, papers, projects, stress my mind is occupied. Bekah and I asked the question last night of, "Why right now? Why?" I need to focus, and instead every inch of thought floats up into the clouds in daydreams until I jerk it back to the textbook. I can't fall asleep at night because I'm too busy laying there with a ridiculous smile plastered on my face daydreaming. I am convinced that love/infatuation is a sickness. And one I can't, and don't want to overcome. It's most fun I think because I don't really have complete control over these feelings. It's always the most unexpected person. But I am tripping over myself with giggly stupor. Even though he has no idea, even though he's two years younger, even though he's a sibling of a dear friend...even though...I just can't help myself.
For example, I attended his high school football championship game last night! (Which was AMAZING, by the way, and they WON...lil Almira-Hartline-Coulee State Champions!)
I had dinner with his family (whom I absolutely adore).
I snuck pictures.
Oh goodness someone get my head out of the clouds...I HAVE FINALS.
On a completely unrelated note,
I haven't learned this exactly, but I've observed it a little bit.
God doesn't always work in the way you think He's working.
What do I mean by this?
It is so easy to read our own agenda, our own wanted responses into the happenings of our life. It is also easy to say that God "did that for such-an-such reason" which happens to fit perfectly into our plan. Not saying that this doesn't ever happen, but while someone is saying all that an outside perspective may see something more accurate. I believe this is why a community of faith is SO vital. We are supposed to be there to keep each other in check. Keep each other in tune with God and his purposes, callings, (and we just had a random power surge...lost all train of thought...) Oh yes, Fellowship is essential so we can take care of ourselves and get back in focus what God is actively doing. It isn't enough to have a fellowship of Christians around, you have to actually listen to what they say. Not search for the one person with the answer you were looking for. The truth sucks sometimes. But it's SO necessary for self-preservation and strengthening your relationship with God. So the next time you ask for advice from many, don't glaze over the things said because they conflict with what you think.
The truth often offends our own ideas.
2 Corinthians 4:17
"For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight in glory beyond all measure."
What a powerful verse. A slight momentary affliction. Even though at the time it may seem like a mountain unobtainable. It's a slight momentary affliction.
How on earth did I get here?
My sophomore year of college with Fall Quarter a few finals away from being over?
And, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time.
December 1, 2007.
December brings such a mixed time for me. I love Christmas(time) but it's always been hard for me. My favorite is always the week before Christmas. When the level of elation is about to burst. All the church traditional services, Christmas cards, Christmas music, wrapping presents. Instead of my usual "countdown to Christmas" I'm trying to really search and find what the Advent Season really means, I'll leave my counting-down for New Years.
I can't even begin to start understanding everything I've learned this Quarter about God. Except that yet again I am so far below the mark in being Christian and realizing how SO many others are as well and don't even realize it. Or try to. Being a Christian is no longer the simple "I believe in God and Jesus as my savior, I'm saved." In fact, for a while this quarter I even forgot about that line. Because for the first time everything was making sense. What I do, how I shape others, how I give, how I pray, whom I love are all things that needed a make-over. Most of all how I trust God. Which I still don't know how to do, I just have increased knowledge of how others trusted Him in the Bible. That counts for something doesn't it?
And in a time of finals, papers, projects, stress my mind is occupied. Bekah and I asked the question last night of, "Why right now? Why?" I need to focus, and instead every inch of thought floats up into the clouds in daydreams until I jerk it back to the textbook. I can't fall asleep at night because I'm too busy laying there with a ridiculous smile plastered on my face daydreaming. I am convinced that love/infatuation is a sickness. And one I can't, and don't want to overcome. It's most fun I think because I don't really have complete control over these feelings. It's always the most unexpected person. But I am tripping over myself with giggly stupor. Even though he has no idea, even though he's two years younger, even though he's a sibling of a dear friend...even though...I just can't help myself.
For example, I attended his high school football championship game last night! (Which was AMAZING, by the way, and they WON...lil Almira-Hartline-Coulee State Champions!)
I had dinner with his family (whom I absolutely adore).
I snuck pictures.
Oh goodness someone get my head out of the clouds...I HAVE FINALS.
On a completely unrelated note,
I haven't learned this exactly, but I've observed it a little bit.
God doesn't always work in the way you think He's working.
What do I mean by this?
It is so easy to read our own agenda, our own wanted responses into the happenings of our life. It is also easy to say that God "did that for such-an-such reason" which happens to fit perfectly into our plan. Not saying that this doesn't ever happen, but while someone is saying all that an outside perspective may see something more accurate. I believe this is why a community of faith is SO vital. We are supposed to be there to keep each other in check. Keep each other in tune with God and his purposes, callings, (and we just had a random power surge...lost all train of thought...) Oh yes, Fellowship is essential so we can take care of ourselves and get back in focus what God is actively doing. It isn't enough to have a fellowship of Christians around, you have to actually listen to what they say. Not search for the one person with the answer you were looking for. The truth sucks sometimes. But it's SO necessary for self-preservation and strengthening your relationship with God. So the next time you ask for advice from many, don't glaze over the things said because they conflict with what you think.
The truth often offends our own ideas.
2 Corinthians 4:17
"For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight in glory beyond all measure."
What a powerful verse. A slight momentary affliction. Even though at the time it may seem like a mountain unobtainable. It's a slight momentary affliction.
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